When Love Becomes a Battle: The Empath and the Narcissist
You thought it was love. The narcissist swept you off your feet with love bombing, making you believe they were your dream partner. You were looking for someone to love and someone who would love you back. But what began as a fairy tale quickly turned into a nightmare. The narcissist deceived you, making you believe you’re their one true love, but their intentions were far from genuine.
For years, I’ve studied this dynamic, initially investigating it through the lens of the Jezebel spirit. The behaviors of narcissists and the spiritual implications of their actions are very similar. I’ve come to understand that while some aspects may seem psychological, the core of this struggle is spiritual—a battle of good versus evil.
Why the Empath-Narcissist Relationship Happens
Empaths often believe that love will triumph over anything. They see something redeemable within the narcissist and convince themselves that their love can transform them. Despite the emotional turmoil and constant conflicts, empaths hold onto hope, sacrificing their own well-being to “save” the narcissist.
I believe that it is a spiritual fight, good against evil. The empath is willing to accept the narcissist behavior because they tend to believe that love will win. They see something inside the narcissist that they want to save. They can overlook many emotional problems that conflicts with their beliefs, hoping that if they just love, the narcissist will change and love them back.
What they don’t realize is that narcissist often operate outside the realm of love. In most cases, they are emotionally and spiritually damaged, unable to comprehend or reciprocate love.
Empath-Narcissist Relationship Pain and Pleasure
And why does the narcissist seek to deceive the empathic person. In most, cases it is because the empath chooses to love the narcissist selflessly. The narcissist’s spirit wants to take advantage of this empathic power. What they don’t realize is that narcissists often operate outside the realm of love. In most cases, they are emotionally and spiritually damaged, unable to comprehend or reciprocate love. This inability is often rooted in their childhood trauma—neglect, abuse, or a lack of affection from caregivers. These early wounds create a belief system in the narcissist that love is transactional or nonexistent.
The empath doesn’t realize or understand that there are forces out there that cannot be explained by reason, it can only be explained by the presence of something that is spiritually evil. The empath cannot fathom how someone can think and do evil without a reason except that hurting someone gives them a relief or satisfaction from their internal pain. The spirit is tormenting them with both pain and pleasure and their only relief comes when they satisfy this evil presence.
Traits of a Narcissist
•Love bombing at the start of a relationship to gain control.
•Lying and manipulation.
•Gaslighting, making you doubt your reality.
•Unfaithfulness, seeking external validation for their self-esteem.
•Uncaring and unfeeling after the initial “honeymoon phase.”
•Hatred, jealousy, and even violence when challenged.
The Spiritual Battle
The relationship between an empath and a narcissist is more than opposites attracting; it’s a spiritual battle. The narcissist’s behavior is often driven by forces beyond mere psychology—forces intent on destroying the empath’s most vulnerable and powerful asset: their heart.
The narcissistic personality is difficult for the empath to understand because empaths are simply wired to do good. They are focused on saving the person’s soul while sacrificing theirs. The comparison I would make is that the empath is to Jesus as the narcissist is to Satan. One tends towards love, justice, truth, compassion, kindness and care. The other tends to pride, envy, jealousy, deceitful, hurtful, uncaring, hatred and being unkind.
The answer is not simply that opposites attract but that the devil wants to destroy the Christ nature in the empath. They want to go after the strongest and yet most vulnerable part of the empath their heart. Your battle is not against the person, the flesh, but against the evil spirit that resides in or is manipulating the narcissist.
The narcissist’s spirit seeks to exploit the empath’s selfless love, draining them emotionally and financially. And why financially and not just emotionally? Because the narcissistic spirit knows that the empath wants to help others through the gift of hospitality, caring and giving. It fulfills the empath when they are able to help others. They work heartily and tirelessly if they know that the fruit of their labor will end up helping others
Again, they are driven by their sacrificial love even to the point of being a martyr for this cause. By attacking these areas, the narcissist (or the spirit driving them) aims to strip the empath of their purpose and identity. The narcissist will not stop until they completely destroy the empath emotionally and financially.
I heard someone say that the narcissist seeks out empaths to destroy them, hurt and persecute them, bring them to their knees, and cause them to have a nightmare of a marriage instead of a fairy tail one. But they are looking at it only through a physical and psychological perspective. The main problem is spiritual. As the Bible says, “We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world…” (Ephesians 6:12).
The Spiritual Battle is On
The empath must recognize this, either leave the relationship if they are not willing to sacrifice years of life for this battle, or they must equip themselves and employ tactics that will allow them to defeat the enemy within the narcissist.
The empaths love and empathy for others causes them to love this troubled man or woman because they are driven by an inner sense that they are there to deploy God’s love and justice. They see something that others cannot see. The problem is that the empath is not equipped for the battle that they are undertaking.
The battle they are getting into is a huge demonic spiritual stronghold. The usual outcome is that the empath will be overrun by the destructive behavior of the narcissistic spirit. They are in a battle with legions of demonic forces. They don’t realize that as they escalate their efforts to love the narcissist that the demonic entities within are escalating their strategy to demolish the heart and spirit of the empath. And these evil spiritual forces are standing their ground by holding the narcissist in their demonic bondage.
On the other hand the narcissist’s demonic goal is to diminish and devour the love and heart of the empath They are like the black hole of emotional empathy. They can constantly deplete someone of love and never give any back. The only thing they want is to be fed emotionally until the person they married to or are in a relationship with is devoid of love. Then they, the narcissistic man or woman part can come into agreement with their spiritual tormentors, and can say that, “See the empath didn’t really love me.” and “Oh, they thought their love was strong, I proved them wrong.” The demonic side is very calculating and strategically works to find the pressure points that they know will dishearten and eventually destroy the love and heart of the empath. That is the ultimate goal of the narcissistic spirit. To defeat the Christ like heart of the empath.
The demonic side wants to humiliate and destroy the soul of the empath man or woman just for the enjoyment of it. They enjoy taking whatever you give to them. If you are vulnerable and open. They will use what you told them against you when it serves their purpose to destroy your self worth. The demonic spirit is against the empath solely for its enjoyment of seeing someone who loves as Christ loves be defeated, humiliated and out of the game of life. The greater the evil spiritual forces against you should reveal to you that God has a great purpose for your life. You can’t throw in the towel. You need to rise up and win in life. The true goal of the evil entity is to devour the souls of both parties, the empathy and the narcissist. They have a common enemy and if they can see that, the tide of the battle will turn.
How to Overcome the Battle
The empath often enters this relationship unprepared for the spiritual warfare it entails. They believe their love alone can heal the narcissist, not realizing that this battle requires divine intervention.
But the battle is the Lord’s. The empath can win their hearts back and they can help, if the narcissistic man or woman is willing to surrender to God’s love and redemption. The empath wasn’t wrong about love being the strongest. They just did not understand the spiritual side of the battle.
The battle requires spiritual tools: prayer, Scripture, and unwavering faith. As Ephesians 6:13 reminds us, “Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground.”
The demonic spirits do not follow the laws of love. They only use hate, anger, shame, humiliation, abuse, and every negative emotional energy they can to drag the empath down to their level. They need the empath’s spiritual energy because they feed off of it.
In order to win the battle, one must focus on defeating the demonic spirit within the man or woman. These spirits are often attacking the trauma of the narcissist. When you start to peel away the layers of hurt and trauma that these demons are feeding off of the narcissistic person will be set free. God’s power and love will be able to penetrate the stronghold of these demonic spirits that has controlled the narcissistic behavior of the man or woman.
- Recognize the Spiritual Nature of the Battle:
The narcissist’s behavior is often driven by unresolved trauma and spiritual strongholds. Understanding this allows the empath to see the real enemy—the forces manipulating the narcissist—and seek God’s strength for the fight.
- Equip Yourself with God’s Armor:
The battle requires spiritual tools: prayer, Scripture, and unwavering faith. As Ephesians 6:13 reminds us, “Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground.”
- Set Boundaries or Leave:
Not all battles are meant to be fought indefinitely. If the narcissist is unwilling to change, it may be necessary to leave the relationship for your own spiritual, emotional, and physical health. Be close to God and seek his wisdom and will.
- Pray for Redemption:
If the narcissist is willing to surrender to God, their strongholds can be broken. The empath’s belief that love is the strongest force isn’t wrong—it’s simply incomplete. God’s love, not human love, is the only force capable of truly transforming the narcissist.
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